Monday, August 4, 2008

After a long long time i was going through my profile on a popular networking site. As i was looking through, updating and editing stuff, I happened to stumble onto the set of testimonials i've received from my friends. All of them talk about how nice a guy i have and how much potential i have. Someone even went as far as to say that i was a thinker and a potential manager. I don't mean to brag but what people see me as seems to be so exaggerated than what i see myself as. i mean when i was reading all those testimonials i couldn't help thinking that these people thought so highly of me: how in god's name will i ever live upto so many expectations.

I know my limitations and really dont see myself doing as well as these people say i will do. Even though i want to be the best of the best i know that however hard i try i will never be the best of the best. Your probably thinking that this guy is impossible and wrong in thinking like that. But this is something i can not explain. Its like one of those unexplainable happenings in nature which can not be explained. It just something which happens and you can trust it to happen whatever you do to try to overcome it. My 23 years of life have proven this without doubt, over and over again.

For example i'm studying for MBA entrances rite now and i know that however hard i study or try to top the exam i can not. Like Randy Pausch said that karma takes care of a part of life. Its like that, my karma will just not allow me to top however hard i try. Even if i dream to get into one of the IIMs i know i can not and will have to settle for one of the colleges i wud not even dream of stepping into.

Sometimes i even wonder why i ever dream at all. Its not like it will ever get fullfilled. And even if it partly does get fullfilled i still have to settle for something i wud prefer not to in the beginning. I guess its difficult for people to understand that my life, unlike others is just full of disappointments and unfullfilled dreams.

--> SJ

3 comments:

  1. We dream because that's what the world runs on.. even if it's just our world. Think about it.. every event, revolution, invention was perhaps one man or woman's dream. Personally, my dreams are truly what I live for :)

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  2. Yes, dreams are what keeps me keep going too.. but at times i just wonder whats the use when you know from beforehand that ur gonna get disappointed. Keeps me wondering why i even try when i know the outcome from before!!

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  3. Try relating the following statement with the fact that your dreams keep you going-

    “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” – Thoreau

    Thought provoking entry. Bonne chance! Have a nice day...

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